


Moving On

by Babblefishgirl



Series: Baldur's Gate Gift Exchange 2020 for Elocinne [1]
Category: Baldur's Gate
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:15:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24673726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babblefishgirl/pseuds/Babblefishgirl
Summary: Kivan and Xan pitch a tent, and Kivan struggles to accept his newfound attraction to the depressed enchanter
Relationships: Kivan/Xan
Series: Baldur's Gate Gift Exchange 2020 for Elocinne [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783981
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7
Collections: Baldur's Gate Gift Exchange 2020





	Moving On

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NikoruSanzo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikoruSanzo/gifts).



> Babblefishgirl here: This is a series of three works because I signed up, then asked two of my irl friends to write for my prompt(s) as a treat. Since this is the first fanfiction we have ever written for Baldur's Gate (or for two of us, any fandom at all) This may not be the best, but we worked hard and we hope you enjoy!  
> This one is written by bookreader93

“This quest is in vain,” Xan lamented.

“What quest?” Kivan asked irritably. “I’m just pitching a stupid tent.”

“It’s still not going to work,” Xan explained, a tiny hint of annoyance coloring his own voice.

Kivan sighed. “What’s wrong now?” He snapped. “First we were too far upstream, then we were too close to the woods and you were sure that we’d be waylaid by wild animals or worse…what could you possibly find to complain about now?”

“I’m not complaining,” Xan promised. “It’s not going to work because you’re trying to put that tent pole in the wrong spot.”

Kivan looked down at his work and realized that Xan was correct. He growled in frustration and put the pole down. “I need to take a walk,” he said through clenched teeth. “I’ll be back.” And off he stomped through the trees. 

Kivan flopped down beside the river, throwing stones one by one into the water just to have the satisfaction of watching them splash. “Stupid enchanter!” he grumbled, throwing his next rock with a bit more force than he intended. He sighed, watching the ripples grow wider, and he knew he was being unfair. Xan might be a little on the gloomy side, but how was that any worse than Kivan himself? He was grumpy enough for the both of them, he knew that, but Xan had always met him with understanding in his own way. He never held Kivan’s attitude against him, and had always made it plain that he trusted and even respected Kivan. Didn’t Kivan owe him at least a little of the same in return?

“Xan?”

Xan stood and turned and Kivan stopped, his apology dying in his throat as he looked in surprise for a moment at the fully-pitched tent. 

“I assumed you would need more time for your walk,” Xan explained, a slight flush creeping up his face. “and I thought I might make better use of my time alone by pitching the tent myself.” He eyed his own handiwork. “It did not turn out as horrible as I expected it to,” he mused.

Kivan’s eyes dropped, feeling guilty about his earlier outburst. “Do you need some help with the other tent?” he asked.

Xan smiled. Kivan had never seen the enchanter smile before. The effect it had on the elf’s features was quite bewitching. He seemed brighter, more approachable, and Kivan found himself at a loss for words. His mouth started to open and he closed it quickly. His heart leapt as he and Xan began working to pitch the second tent, and even as the hopeful fluttering began inside him, he felt a guilty, familiar pain in his chest. What was he doing allowing Xan to take his breath away like this? He was still in mourning, damn it all! He was still trying to get revenge for his beloved Deheriana. What would she say if she could see how disloyal his heart was becoming?

“There!” Xan said, his voice very nearly cheery as they tied the final piece of canvas into place.

“Well, it’s getting late,” Kivan said quickly, stretching and giving a huge, exaggerated yawn. “We’d best get some sleep.”

“Kivan?”

Kivan turned as saw Xan watching him with a sad sort of understanding in his dark eyes.

“You can still love her without spending the rest of your life in mourning,” he said quietly. And then he was in his tent, the flap closed, leaving Kivan feeling confused and far too open, far too seen. Unable to do anything else, Kivan turned and walked into his own tent. 

Kivan opened his eyes and was surprised to find that he was back home, in Shilmista. The sun was shining through the trees, creating a pretty, dappled appearance on the forest floor.

“Kivan,” a familiar voice called behind him. “Kivan, my love.”

Kivan didn’t dare breathe as he turned around to greet her.

Deheriana stood before him, just as beautiful as the day they first met, as beautiful as the day they married, as beautiful as she’d ever been. Kivan didn’t stop to think, but ran to his beloved wife, scooping her up in his arms and holding her tightly to him.

“You’re alive!” He cried happily, spinning her in circles before setting her down.

Deheriana smiled sadly and placed a hand to his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, almost like a cat.

“No, darling,” she said. “I’m not. I’m only a part of your dream.”

Kivan frowned. “Why now?” he asked.

Deheriana’s smile widened. “Because you’ve grown fond of Xan,” she said.

Kivan leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers. “What must you think of me,” he murmured. “I’m nothing but a faithless-”

“On the contrary,” Deheriana interrupted. “I think you place too great a burden on yourself.” She cupped his face in both hands. “You and I promised to love each other as long as we both lived. You can still love me now that I’m gone, but please don’t chastise yourself because you’ve finally started to heal and move on with your life.”

Kivan shook his head. “We will be together again someday,” he promised.

Deheriana nodded. “And in the meantime, there is nothing wrong with falling in love with Xan. It doesn’t make you faithless because you found him, and allowing yourself to love him doesn’t mean you never loved me.”

Kivan opened his eyes and saw that he was alone once more.

“Deheriana?” he called. “Deheriana!”

“Let your heart be open,” Deheriana’s voice called. “You can still love me without spending the rest of your life in mourning…”

“Kivan?”

Kivan’s eyes snapped open. He was back in his tent, and Xan’s voice was calling him. 

“Kivan!”

Kivan stumbled out of his tent and found himself almost nose-to-nose with Xan.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“No need to apologize,” Xan assured him. “I just assumed you’d want an early start on our travels, that’s all.” He turned to begin disassembling his own tent.

“No, Xan, wait,” Kivan heard himself call, and he placed a hand gently on Xan’s shoulder. Xan stopped and turned to Kivan.

“About what you said last night…”

Xan closed his eyes, cringing visibly, and shook his head. “Please, Kivan, allow me to apologize for what I said. I had no right to tell you when to stop mourning your wife. Only you can decide when-”

“You have no need to apologize, Xan,” Kivan promised. “Perhaps your words caught me off guard, but what you said was correct; I can love the wife I lost and still leave room in my heart to love…others.” He looked pointedly at Xan, and he watched Xan blush and flash that same smile that had thrown Kivan off and stole his breath.

Kivan pulled Xan to him, and as their lips met they tumbled backwards into Kivan’s tent, the flaps closing noiselessly around them…


End file.
